554 million Jack in the Box tacos are sold every year.
The Wall Street Journal has dropped this one helluva sad fact on the beautiful disaster that is the United States of America, and now we have to reconcile what this means for us as a nation.
Jack in the Box tacos are a thing that exist on this planet. There’s just no getting around that. As a society, we need to face up to this fact. People eat them, and they have been celebrated since their introduction.
These taco-like Frankenstein monsters are made by piling pulverized beef into a taco shell, frying that bad boy up, and topping it with lettuce and the kind of “cheese product” that comes in single-wrapped packages.
They can be described in a variety of ways, but this is the best you’re going to find:
Despite the disgust seemingly shared by the masses, people are still in love with them, and some people will legit start a Twitter feud in order to get their hands on them, like model Chrissy Teigen did.
Naturally, her order consisted of tacos. She can take solace in the fact that she didn’t suffer from gastrointestinal issues that night.
Whatever makes them so beloved is a complete mystery. When you’ve got a product that begs the question, “Is this meat or is it ground veggie burger?” that should indicate a problem. But Jack in the Box doesn’t care, and it’s laughing all the way to the bank.
So, really, how are so many of these things being sold? There really only a few possible reasons that add up:
We live in a day and age that people are allowed to buy alcohol and consume it.
They cost 99 cents.
It’s pretty obvious once you put it together. Drunk people stumble into a 24/7 establishment at 3 a.m. and their inhibitions are so nonexistent, buying a taco for that low, low price seems like Christmas morning.
Someone needs to do a study about when customers buy the tacos. If it doesn’t average out to 2:47 a.m. on a Saturday then nothing on this planet makes sense.